I feel like a garage sale, the kind you drive past and it looks really cool until you’re closer and realize it’s full of a bunch of crap you neither want or need.
Perhaps Writer, who has been doing well on his nanowrimo project if nothing else, would be better off without this broken person in his life reminding him of his shortcomings.
Then I saw my therapist to work on my PTSD issues. It was a good session. The session reminded me that so much of my stress comes from characteristics I hold that are actually strengths, when I don’t let them overcome me.
I’m also working on not having to do everything I can for others. I was good this week. A buddy messaged to say he was half drunk and not sure he was in condition to pedal his bike home. I had given him a lift the night before. So I asked him if he was asking for a ride home or just stating a fact, that I would be happy to be his DD if he asked. He replied that he couldn’t make that call for me (if he was asking or stating). So I asked again if he was requesting a sage ride, but he had already put his phone in his jacket. He rode home and arrived safely. I’m not a doormat and didn’t allow myself to be treated like one. If you want my help, ask.. I don’t have to take on your responsibility. Yay me.
I didn’t feel guilty. OK, I did for a moment. I’m coming up on a year anniversary of losing a close friend who didn’t call, gave her keys to her also drunk boyfriend, and he crashed killing her. The week before I had reminded her of my offer. She was stupid, her friends and family miss her.