It Shouldn’t Matter

Better thought, why do I let it matter?
Why do I permit resentments to affect me, when I could be focusing on my own healing?

I remind myself that my perception of how someone is doing may not be their reality.

Coming on 3 years in a few months since the divorce was final. The ex took a real vacation. I had begged him for decades for us to do that as a family and he refused. He blamed me for his unwillingness. Near the end I finally made the decision to start taking that vacation with our son and leave him behind.. A great decision BTW.  He recently got a promotion at work. I believe he has a girlfriend (I hope he treats her better than he did me). And then I remind myself his life is not all roses; I hear his house is a mess, and I am grateful he no longer has me to blame for that. He was in a serious car accident and had many months of therapy to recover, and I did not have to listen to him complain.
So, I am able to let go quite a bit on the ex hubby front.

Writer on the other hand, I wish I could detach. I resent that he is not taking more direct (or any for that matter) actions to make amends to me.

I know the ex hubby never will, why should I care if Writer does or does not? Is it because I believe he is capable of that and so much more, or because I simply don’t care about the ex husband and still do about Writer?


About Apophenias

I'm human. Female. Self-employed. Searching for connections in the randomness of life. Currently residing the US. ... And not quite defined by being in the midst of a biological ticking.
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