Better thought, why do I let it matter?
Why do I permit resentments to affect me, when I could be focusing on my own healing?
I remind myself that my perception of how someone is doing may not be their reality.
Coming on 3 years in a few months since the divorce was final. The ex took a real vacation. I had begged him for decades for us to do that as a family and he refused. He blamed me for his unwillingness. Near the end I finally made the decision to start taking that vacation with our son and leave him behind.. A great decision BTW. He recently got a promotion at work. I believe he has a girlfriend (I hope he treats her better than he did me). And then I remind myself his life is not all roses; I hear his house is a mess, and I am grateful he no longer has me to blame for that. He was in a serious car accident and had many months of therapy to recover, and I did not have to listen to him complain.
So, I am able to let go quite a bit on the ex hubby front.
Writer on the other hand, I wish I could detach. I resent that he is not taking more direct (or any for that matter) actions to make amends to me.
I know the ex hubby never will, why should I care if Writer does or does not? Is it because I believe he is capable of that and so much more, or because I simply don’t care about the ex husband and still do about Writer?