Happy Thanksgiving Update

At least I hope your day is filled with loved ones, good food, and happy memories.

I am sitting in the peaceful woods, being thankful for mild temperatures, listening to a gentle rain, and contemplating life while waiting for some on the hoof venison to meander in the line of sight of my borrowed firepower.

A lot has happened these past few days.

Writer still seems oblivious to the fact that by taking no action nothing will change. I do not regret calling him an asshole the other day when I inquired if he has had a chance to drop off his release for me to discuss his treatment with the sex offender therapist and he retaliated by thanking me for ruining his evening of writing (he was frustrated being stuck on a pivotal scene.) He often was upset when his wife would message a small request without first engaging him in chit chat about how his day was going, so I really shouldn’t have been surprised. He messaged an apology of sorts, so  I swung past his house to drop off his hats that had been hanging in my living room taunting me.  I put them on the porch and as I was leaving he came out and we chatted. I inquired “what do we have to talk about” and he said, “lots.” He invited me in for a cup of hot chocolate, and for 20 minutes we talked about his writing, and how Boygir (his younger son) was feeling unwelcome when he visited their home. Writer said it was tense for him because when you move out you should take all your things with you, Boygir sill had not finished moving out and how it would be OK if the child had even asked if it was OK the leave belongings I storage there. Hypocritical IMHO.. When I have asked him to finish moving out of my home, he has missed deadlines HE set to do so, and then wonders why there is Tension between us (all the other issues aside, of course.)

He didn’t even ask how I was doing, so I volunteered the information. “I feel like it is my fault” he said. “You feel like you are responsible for my PTSD?”. I thought to myself Well, Duh, but did not verbalize it, and excused myself to return to remodeling.

On another front, Girboy had called to ask about doing a couple more loads of laundry Tuesday even though I had said no more  Even having his child pressing him to get the washer fixed had not worked. So I made a deal for Boygir to do a few chores in exchange.

After work Tues I plodded back down to the house in progress, where the laundry was still in the washer. He and his platonic domestic partner stopped in and I invited them to stay and visit a bit. It was the first I had seen him in person in a dress. He looked lovely, and the happiest I had ever seen him.

We talked about anxiety, depression, meds, gender, poly, legal protections afforded by marriage, and then he dropped a bomb asking me if I thought his parents marriage was a sham, because it seemed like they were simply tolerating each other rather than loving. A very perceptive young person. I did not offer my opinions, instead saying that everyone does poly different, and one of the things I had loved about his father was Writer’s commitment to his marriage.

I showed off the projects and plans in the house, and this time Girboy was genuinely interested, even adding to my narrative to his partner. So much progress for the child. I doth believe moving out of Writer’s home has had a positive effect on him.

Yesterday was a good day. My buddy came over and we knocked out some more drywall and sanding cabinets, had dinner, and contemplated logistics of moving the stairs. Girboy messaged and inquired how much I would charge him to rent the upstairs bedroom from me, I offered a deal much cheaper than anything online and was clear that they would need to buy their own groceries and contribute to upkeep of common areas (things he did not do when I let him live with me for a school year.)

Nothing is moving in the woods, and I have heard fewer than a dozen shots all morning. So I’m going to pack up, head home to clean up, and spend the afternoon feasting on Gobble Dinner with my extended family.

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About Apophenias

I'm human. Female. Self-employed. Searching for connections in the randomness of life. Currently residing the US. ... And not quite defined by being in the midst of a biological ticking.
Image | This entry was posted in Gender Identity, Healing, polyamory, Rants, Sex addiction and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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