Just shy of three months from discovery and having Writer move out was my birthday. He mentioned he was sad about not being there to celebrate with me. I was feeling sad too. I wrote about having him join me for lunch and a walk in the woods. What I didn’t mention and has stuck with me was the disappointment that he totally overlooked my birthday that day or the day of. He never mentioned it, didn’t give me a small gift or thoughtful card with words of love.
I understand, we were apart, but I hadn’t let him go yet, and even still he says he loves me. So not even making that small effort feels devastating. Maybe he felt like since he couldn’t make the bigger effort to make amends that the little things were moot. or maybe that he really didn’t live me to begin with. Don’t know. Doesn’t matter any more. Or shouldn’t. Still hurts.
I found the Christmas gift I was so excited to find for him months ago. I’m still going to give it to him, though not in person. I still love him, even if I can’t be in love