I’m guessing a relationship with Teacher is not in my cards.
Yesterday he was to attend a family gathering I was hosting. He didn’t show up, so I called. He didn’t recognize my voice, asked who I was, and after repeating my name he finally realized and said he had let me know on the facebook event that he couldn’t make it. Then mentioned a health issue.I had checked the event RSVPs just prior to the start time, and he hadn’t replied yet, though last week when we were chatting he said he was coming. I sent him the invite online just so he would have easier access to the info & location. Guess telling me directly didn’t cross his mind. Teacher admitted he didn’t like messaging a few weeks ago, so I kept that to the barest minimum, holding on to our next face-to-face.I was sad that he didn’t recognize my voice (after the many hours we had spent chatting) or number (meaning when he called me he hadn’t programmed it into his phone), disappointed because I had been holding on to seeing him for almost two weeks without other communication.
Most of our dates had been cancelled – but always with a valid excuse that endeared him to me even more, though never rescheduled right away. I’d had hopes for a possible relationship. I am sad for the loss of what might have been. I recognize I want to relationship with someone who wants to spend time with me as much as I do him.
What have I learned from this? I am taking away that Writer did not forever break me. My heart is still willing to make room for another, and is willing to wait for the right fit. Could that still be Teacher? Perhaps, though I am not going to sit around waiting and pining to see if he learns to show me I am valued.
I have reactivated my dating profile, though honestly do not expect anything of it as the profile honestly states I plan to be out of country for over a year in the not to distant future and most men are not strong enough for that type of challenge.