I had asked Krys if he could spare 15 minutes before he heads off overseas this week to give him a surprise. He asked if he had forgotten something. Nope, I had something special for him.
As I mentioned in last post, he surprised me by asking to come up and take me to dinner, and if I would like, to spend the night.
He arrived and we had a nice dinner at a local sushi/hibachi place. I told him of my plans to take the position in Germany, and his eyes went large and he told me that setting up a legal residence in Europe so he had more flexibility visiting his son did not mean he was planning to live there full time. (That was news to me, his LinkedIn profile already had him listed as living there.) So I had to explain how I made the decision for me, that the opportunity was so awesome I could not see passing it up. How I had a friend considering going with as well. And if he happened to be there when I get some time off, I would certainly be agreeable to visit. So he gave me tips on European travel
When we got back home, I poured us some of my favorite red wine, a dornfelder (sweet red) and chatted.
Then it was time. I gifted him with the compass, in a large box like an engagement ring would come in. He liked it. Then I told him the sentiment behind it, and asked if when I get back from Germany and we both have our lives more settled he would consider a relationship with me as primary partners
He spoke of how right now his life isn’t right for such a relationship. I pointed out that mine isn’t either, hence the question that when I get back (we:re talking just over 2 years down the road now) would he consider is being partners. His eyes softened and he gently said yes.
I asked him how I should refer to him in the mean time.. Boyfriend, lover… ? He wasn’t sure, so I suggested the he is “My Krys” and I am “His Apophenias” He liked that.
We played with the kitties, then he suggested it was time to snuggle. And what a loving, tender night it was. My eyes are misting just thinking of it
A leisurely morning waking up, with more snuggles, followed by a warm shower together. I just realized that was my first shower in 7 months without a Writer relationship PTSD inspired thought or reaction!!!! Hot damn, I’m getting better!
We dressed and he coffeed. Then he lamented that it was time to go because he was flying out the next morning and still had to prep for a job interview and it would be too distracting to stay and study there… Not because he couldn’t study with me around, but that he would not to focus on me if I were there. I was very touched. I was desired.
I thanked him for dinner and for travelling for his surprise. He said he did not come for that.. He wanted to be with me.
Not feeling taken advantage of is something I have not felt in many years. It feels good.
He texted today that he did not get the job. I did not default into my codependent ways and immediately try to comfort him. Instead I asked how he was feeling and sent “hugs” Yay me!!! Healing rocks!