In sharp contrast to past few weeks, today didn’t suck.
Started off watching some Bleach anime. Sweet.
Then an hour Skype video call from Krys. Last night I had sent an email including how from my perspective he avoided committed relationships and sharing emotions because of his parents’ terrible divorce. That not all relationships crumble into petty emotional jabs to bring the ex down and playing the children as pawns against the ex… Reminding him that he has seen me through two terrible relationships and I had demonstrated that I do neither, so if he is afraid and uses that as reasoning for avoiding, he knows first-hand that I do not stoop to such lows and would treat his self-confidence with respect.
The call did not bring that up. Instead he gave me, in detail, his timeline and location for his next visit to the States.. Something he has never done before. Depending on his mother’s schedule, he may still be able to swing by me for a bit. We did talk about part time parenting and how that can be done as right as possible. I believe is as great a daddy as “the mother” and European law permits.
Then I had a session with my sex offender family member counselor. We delved more into recognising emotions behind reactions. At her suggestion we will start some EMDR therapy next month. I’m all for new tools. Will let y’all know how that goes.
Then I ambled home and painted part of a wall, got off my estimated tax payments, filed my extension, called the ex (who actually answered.. He hadn’t replied this past few months because he didn’t know when he wanted to pick up the clock, never mind part one of my inquiry was if he still wanted it even if I did not deliver), and treated myself to a cone at a local car-hop drive in.
If the wind does down, going out for a walk yet too before I pack a few more boxes.
And i just noted, for the first time since the divorce, I was able to chat with the ex without feeling physically and emotionally drained after! Yay for boundaries!!!! Yay for healing!