What Trait Do You Value Most in a Friendship?

Sitting around the bonfire tonight, we mused about the quality we most appreciate or value in a friendship.

One chose Loyalty. Another Honesty. I chose truth.

So we debated what we meant by our word.

One proposed that loyalty encompasses the others. I respectfully disagreed.

To me, loyalty means taking sides regardless of personal feelings, being there because the person you are loyal to benefits even if it is an inconvenience to you, and regardless of the truth.

An example I did not use around that bonfire:

My son was loyal to me when instead of telling me of my then partner Writer’s poor choice od actions unforgivable criminal transgression, took his own action of speeding up his move away. Son knew he was leaving anyway,, was no longer comfortable around partner, and because he knew I happy being with the partner did not want me to lose that happiness he had never seen me have while married to his father. He was loyal to me, putting my happiness above his own.

I would rather my son had told me the truth, even if it hurt me.  Truth trumps loyalty.

What trait do you most value in a friendship? Why? Share your thoughts in the comments.


About Apophenias

I'm human. Female. Self-employed. Searching for connections in the randomness of life. Currently residing the US. ... And not quite defined by being in the midst of a biological ticking.
This entry was posted in Apophenia, Bonfire Musings. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to What Trait Do You Value Most in a Friendship?

  1. This is a conundrum. Loyalty immediately popped into my mind but it was/is trumped by honesty.
    I was always loyal to Loser and my children but if they had wronged somebody, I would tell them they were wrong. My oldest had a problem with my youngest. I knew the story behind the resentment. I told my youngest that I was on the oldest ones’ side because what my youngest had done was wrong.
    Honesty is paramount to me. Lie to me or betray me and we are done….end of story….end of friendship….end of marriage.
    I’m tough. I can handle the truth. It may hurt me and it may destroy something but tell me the truth because I despise a liar more than anything else in the world.

    Liked by 1 person

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